I have to stop editing myself. I do it constantly. I do it when I am talking to someone, but I definitely do it here. This is my place to bitch at the world, to talk about how I really feel under all the smiles, to scream at the world if I want to. Sometimes I am going to say mean things, or things that make sense only to me. Because yes, I want readers, but more importantly I want to feel safe in writing what I feel.
The draw to put things on paper or screen, if you want to get technical, is strong. It nags at the back of my eyes if I haven’t written anything down. It is even sated with creating a list on occasion, which means I think that writing may be something I need to explore on a professional level. I don’t know how to go about it. To be honest it’s the first time I’ve said it out loud. It feels like it’s a job I could do, even without worrying about how it would pay the bills. I don’t expect my blog to make money, although I know people do make money at it. What I expect from my blog is that it allows me to write, about whatever is on my mind at the moment.
What I expect from myself and frankly my few readers can expect too. I will try. I will try to post Monday thru Friday, I will try to be honest and open, without hurting people if I can help it. I can’t promise I will always post happy, sunny flowers and lollipops. But I can tell you that what is written, is what I am feeling, what I am seeing, what is speaking to me.
I truly hope you read and know it’s coming from the heart.