Day 2

Day 2. I ate breakfast this morning before taking my Adderall, waited until I got to work. It doesn’t seem as intense this morning, but I can tell I am on something. I am trying to remember to take deep breaths and to drink my water.

            I did some research yesterday, looked at forums and chats, and things of that nature from people who have ADD & ADHD to see what their various reactions to medication were. Lots of helpful hints, and encouragement, this is going to be a challenge though. To wait it out and see how I do when the medication starts to level out in my system.

            I didn’t eat yesterday, I mean I munched a bit at work but no breakfast, no lunch. By the time I got home I was peckish. But by 6pm I was starving, the medication was starting to wear off and I was starting to feel normal. I ate slowly, knowing it would be easy to cram it all in and have a sore stomach. I felt better after eating, but still wasn’t feeling 100% by 7pm.

I went out last night, to see one of my friends, my sister-in-law came with me. I haven’t put makeup on and gone out on a week night in a long time. I mean, I go out to meetings, and volunteer events but to go out and sit in a bar and have a drink and listen to some small band. I can’t tell you the last time I did that during the week. We hung out for a couple of hours. Had a good time and came home. I went to bed at like 1am, and woke up at 7, no problem. That is weird.

This is a weird journey, and I know that ultimately it will still be me at the end of it but in the last 3 months I am become this person that I really like. I am doing things, still usually for others, but some of them are for me, purely for the joy of being young and able. I am still walking on egg shells with some people, but I am learning some tools to not let the hurt get in. I will always be sensitive and emotional, but hopefully in the future I can pick and chose those who I let wound me, by protecting myself a bit, maybe not being so open with those who seek to harm my progress. Luckily I don’t know many of them. Luck for me I have a very supportive group of people who want to see me smile, and hate to see me cry.

I probably won’t post this weekend, I have a lot of plans. Fun plans, plans to be with people, which is another thing I haven’t wanted to do in a long time.

Here’s to weird journeys, and bright futures.

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