Money vs Mere

I have to say this, I flippin hate money. I mean I love money, because I get to have fun with it. I get to go out occasionally and whoop it up. But right now I hate money.

9 months ago I took a job I have wanted for a long time, it’s a small company with lots of room for ideas and growth. But in order to take the job I took less money and less hours, it was a sacrifice we were willing to make to have me happy and in a positive environment. But for some reason, we didn’t adjust well to the diminished funds, and have struggled every month since my job switch to pay the bills and to still try to have fun like young people should. I have had to say no a lot lately, and my poor Hubs has had to say no to me a lot and he doesn’t like doing that. He wants me to be happy, so when I pout it makes it hard for him to be strong and the stable financial force in our relationship. I am a terribly bad influence, don’t worry I have been discussing this with my therapist; he thinks there is hope for me.

I so badly want to not pay my bills anymore, live in a dark room with candlelight and read books. Who cares about TV and internet when there is a library on my back porch? Well let’s be honest, I care. But I wish I didn’t care so much about being an upright citizen. Damn Money and its never-ending hold on me and actually on everyone I know.

I am told that most people live pay check to pay check when they are my age, I know this to be true usually, but there a few that I know, my sister is one, who is really good with money, really smart and good at savings, I didn’t learn that lesson for some reason. The worst part is I have the tools, my Mom bought us the Dave Ramsey tools and we got scared of trying. I am feeling the need to pull out the book and the workbook and make our plan. Thank god for the Adderall, it makes me super focused and this is my mission. I want to get out of this hole and live a full life with my Hubs. See this face (well this blog) it is that of a determined mind. Brace yourself checkbook, I am coming for you.

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