I know when I restarted this I thought it would follow my emotional journey as I sought to become better mentally. I think it’s done that, but I thought at some point it would be come funny and witty like The Pioneer Woman or The Redneck Mommy. It’s not that, and I shouldn’t compare myself to other bloggers. I just wanted to re-read this someday and giggle at my cleverness or smirk at my silliness. The truth is I am a girl with deep problems that I am learning to deal with and writing about my struggles has helped me. It gets the venom out, into a world that is not harmed by my words, and my hope is my few readers know that my rantings are in no way reflections of my feelings towards them. I speak in abstracts often so I don’t think anyone is offended, but I truly hope people aren’t bored either. My intention is to entertain slightly, and to give insight, support or hope to others who struggle with depression, anxiety and insecurities. I hope those of you who read me with any regularity know that I don’t wish to sound repetitive if I say I am having a bad day, I am going to have lots of those. I know I use the words struggle, and weak and choices a lot. But that is part of my life right now, struggling to overcome feeling weak in the choices I make. I wish to be decisive and strong, but I don’t see myself as such.
In the coming weeks I will speak vaguely about a new addition to my family and our struggles to do what is right for all involved. I will not give details, but just know that the next several posts will be about this changing dynamic in my life and how I must for the first time in a long time make tough choices and stick to them come what may. I will falter and fail I am sure, but hope when all this turmoil is over I am stronger and more capable on the other side.
Please stick with me, I hope to write with insight over the next few weeks and hope to receive insight and inspiration from people who read my posts.
Thanks again for listening to my rants, I truly appreciate ever view.