There is a lot to be said after a week or so away.
First and foremost a huge shout out of thanks for the help to my Momma. She came over this weekend and helped to kick my ass into gear with some seriously deep cleaning in the common areas of my home. She also took a huge amount of laundry away and brought it back all perfectly folded, sweet smelling and ready for me to tackle my next project, the dreaded closet/dresser. But for now my home is on the right track to being clean and thankfully I have a Mom who knows exactly how to take weight off my shoulders. Thanks Momma. And a thanks to my wonderful roommate/sister in law for diving in with us and doing the work too. It was a rewarding day, topped off with amazing salad brought to us by Momma’s best friend who stayed to clean for a bit too. Thanks Miz L, you are amazing.
Second thing, I am feeling better. Its a definitive statement, however tentative because I have felt better in the past. But I can say with a certain measure of cautious optimism that I am on the right road. I am sure I need a little tweaking but I think we are on the correct path. The voice in my head has only been saying things that I want to write down, but no amount of wishing will recreate the words she whispers as I am falling asleep. But I can tell you they are kind of wonderful, ideas of stories or narratives that I really need to document. Just not today.
I had a dream last night that my Momma and Sister A went on a trip to Alabama, and we got separated. It wasn’t a good dream, and I know where it came from. And long story short it’s nice to know that my brain is not conjuring these weird scenarios right now. It was pretty straight forward and I didn’t have to obsess over it.
By the way The Fault in Our Stars was amazing, I read it but watched it yesterday and I have to say it was the worst way to cry. But it was good, which is totally off subject but I wanted to share that little nugget of info.
To summarize, I am feeling better, I am getting re-motivated, getting ready to tackle a new and exciting project that I will announce in the coming months. So I think it was a good thing to go to the psychiatrist, to sit and get a new diagnosis and treatment plan and fingers crossed we’ve seen the worst of this beast and I can focus on wellness instead of depression.