I have a tendency to dream of running away. Like if I packed up my dogs and husband and started somewhere else I would magically not be in debt, sad, fight depression daily and I would suddenly love the person in the mirror instead of dreaming I was someone else.

In my mind I would be this really chic plus size lady, with my edge being my cool hair and tattoos, Who lets the worlds problems roll off her back like water and who can smile when someone shits on her day. I would have a beautifully organized home preferably a tiny house, that was comfortable and eclectic. I would take walks with my husband in the evenings and each of us would have a content dog on a leash who is just enjoying the world they live in. I would cook simple, beautiful, healthy meals and be satisfied at the end of each of them. I would not cry over things I cannot control, or fictional characters that die in books, movies and TV shows. I would not take it so personally when people get irritated at situations. I would find the magic in a each day.

But no matter where I run, I can not escape me.


One comment

  1. Oh honey… already have so much of what you wish for, you really do! But perfection isn’t life. I don’t know anyone who has “perfect”…..and striving for perfection is exhausting. I love that you cry over fictional characters that die in movies, books and TV….it shows your compassion. I cry at Hallmark commercials and you tube videos of soldiers surprising their families, or someone being kind to a homeless person. You are that chic lady with that trendy edge, and you pull it off with such beauty and grace. As far as letting the worlds problems roll off your back like water, that only happens if you are born a duck. Whoever thought of these phrases was simply trying to make excuses for not having feelings themselves. Real people feel pain, they hurt, and I don’t know anyone that smiles when someone shits on their day. You are a fabulous cook, a wonderful daughter, friend, aunt, granddaughter, wife and sister. I also know you know how to find the magic in each day….you are just human, and some days, there isn’t the time to look. It doesn’t mean it isn’t there, it just means you are a real, live, human being who gives so much, it makes it hard to stop and allow yourself that time. But no matter what, you have so many gifts – like this one right here….the ability to say what is in your heart. You do it beautifully…. I’m not trying to piss on your parade, just giving you another set of glasses to look into the mirror with. YOU are amazing, take a look at yourself again. See what I see…….love you

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